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  • Writer's pictureChristie A. Cruise, PhD

Who Has Your Back (And Your Front)?

Who you allow in your inner circle is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.


Do you have kind, trustworthy, encouraging, supportive, and loving people in your circle? If you have people who sabotage you, are negative, and take more than they give, you need to do some self-reflection. Do you feel like you don’t deserve that type of love and support? Why? Who told you, directly or indirectly, that you were not worth it? They lied to you!

I have been so blessed to have people in my life who have my back, front, and sides. My mom recently passed. I knew I had some amazing people in my life, but this terrible loss allowed me to see my friends (and family) in a new way. When I say they stepped up and put their arms around me, I am not exaggerating. My village came through and redefined support system. They wrote my mom’s obituary, went to the funeral home with my family and I, organized and paid for the repast, brought food to my home, spent the night at my house, and sat in silence with me.

If you don’t have a village or collective that will show up for you in good times and bad, you need to reevaluate the people in your life.

These are a few of the people in my village.

Now, if you are the friend in the circle who is not supportive, unkind, and negative, that’s another blog post. But, let me say this, you have to be the love you desire. You have to be that love to yourself first, then to others.

One of my favorite scriptures reads, "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly" (Proverbs 18:24). Pick up a mirror. Hold it to your face. Take a good look! Who is staring back at you? Are they friendly? Are they kind? If not, it sounds like you have some work to do. But, before you begin, take a look at my collage with some of the members of my amazing village.

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